There once was a writer who tricked the global villagers into reading his uninteresting content by using purple prose ("unsurpassed," "one-of-a-kind," "like never before") and multiple exclamation marks!!!
At first the villagers came clicking but when they found nothing of value in his stories they scurried back to better writing that respected their time and rewarded their attention.
One day, the writer stumbled upon a truly compelling narrative and he screamed using the same cheap writing and punctuation tricks. No one clicked and his copy died without ever getting read.